2012 has been a fantastic year for movies. But, here were ten really painful cinematic experiences. We suggest you watch something else.
1. The Campaign
A cinematic mess of impeachable proportions which proves the only thing more annoying than a Will Farrell comedy is a Will Farrell comedy with Zack Galifianakis. It even resorts to baby-punching for a cheap laugh.
2. Red Lights
An all-star train-wreck that has a twist ending so preposterous, it makes M. Night Shymalan’s post-Signs career look Hitchcockian in comparison.
3. Les Misérables
Certain to garner multiple Oscar nominations, but I found Tom Hooper’s edit style (whereby the performers belt their lungs out in close-up) to be entirely wrong.
4. Mirror Mirror
Tarem Singh’s visual palette can’t disguise ‘Mirror Mirror’ from being Snow White Trash.
5. The Devil Inside
‘The Devil Inside’ is the sort of the film that would play on an infinite loop in Cinematic Hell. Exorcise your right to skip it!
6. Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
I don’t know how this series about cyborg servicemen has been running for two decades. Jean Claude Van Damme is no stranger on my annual Worst Of lists.
7. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ feels like a parody of a Best Picture nominee – and yet somehow, it was nominated for Best Picture this year.
8. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ is one of the weaker entries in this insanely popular (but idiotic) franchise. At least, we can say for sure that this is the end.
9. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
‘The Hobbit’ represents an even greater level of disappointment for ‘Lord Of The Rings’ fans than ‘The Phantom Menace’ did for ‘Star Wars’ fans. This feels like a rough draft to a much better film.
10. The Bourne Legacy
‘The Bourne Legacy’ is not about Jason Bourne, and Jeremy Renner even looks like he’s silently asking himself why this movie was ever made. This is as unnecessary a sequel as there ever was this year.